A Poem for the Leopard Princess

Expensive Mistakes


One repaired pop-up sprinkler head
Three prickly pear bushes and one eucalyptus tree
An hour’s worth of cable towing to remove a cheap jeep in mud
One snapped cable (and (almost) one life-insurance policy)

Seven plastic doo-hickeys that hold the jacuzzi cover
(They were removed and replaced improperly—let’s not talk about it.)

 A basket of pillow covers—
Not-so-white after a faceful of nightsweats shmere the makeups off.

Replaced keys-- lost in the fountain
Replaced shoes-- see above.

A ten day stay at ten-thousand a night
May 25th: Cranial Hemorrhage
I missed your wedding
(Most expensive of all.)

 Costumes:

1 Nurse
1 Marriachi
Two Power Puff Girls and one furry pimp
One red Mercedes Benz
One dent
(Oops! We’re not listening! We’re not guilty!)

Two bounced checks, Nordstrom of course!
1 for me, 1 for you
Nantucket Sand for me, a lighter shade for you, and
Bronzer for two.

Two lollipops and one black Cat-O-Nine Tails
Five pairs of sunglasses washed away at sea
"La Playa Negra," of course, of course!
Aloe and Vera for steamed lobster and crispified peeling skins
Fortified and la de da da
Between you and me, a bottle of gin
Fortified la de la da

Tickets:

A ticket for illegal parking
A ticket for speeding
Another ticket for speeding
A ticket for flying off the road
A ticket for not using the dog's seat belt…

And yet another ticket for speeding.



A ticket for "I-didn't-see-a-stop-sign.”
(Believe me, ‘twas covered by trees.)

A ticket for not "clicking it."
A ticket for your thoughts
A ticket for cell-chat-phone-talk --- I had to make a call to Golden, CO
Just cuz I gots the blues.

Someone got arrested at Encinitas Beach
'Twas Dr. Kush in the parking lot with a lead pipe!” says I.
"Dont you worry a wink, Mr. Officer Shat; I believe, in my bag, there’s a card for all that."

Expensive Mistakes in Provo:

 A trip to Rite Aid to pick up a
"First Response Rapid Results!"
Just to be sure, and
A tank of gas for cruzin' the highlands
Squealing and squalling, "We found her!"
"We found her!"

Always, for always just one soda orange,
For shakes on the go just a coffee with cream,
But Sundays are different; we eat as we please,
In the kitchen of Ram Bam—meats, taters, and cheese!
So many mistakes, so many repairs,
But it’s hard to believe
It’s more than just shared.

 Just us—witty you, funny me.

A burger for two, a shake and some poo (baggies for chandler)
A can of spray for a pesky knat
A tube of "goo" (be gone, be gone, I say!)
A replacement Spalding for a donkey piñata
Over the cliffs of the cove
Lost undies and one spilled horchata!

'twas worth the cost, oh Love, my Love!

 (But since the recession,
Maybe we can find some inexpensive mistakes at Marshall's;
We can always tie 'em up in pretty pretty wrap.)