Started physical thereapy in the pool at the YMCA in Encinitas . I worked with a lassie by the name of November who is six and a half months pregnant –about t22 weeks, I think . Sometimes she holds the bottom part of her baby bump belly in the water as we walk across the bottom of the shallow end of the pool . She is freckled and has a raspisih low voice that makes me think she’s a lesbian mermaid. Will her newborn daughter sport a pair of gills and a couple tiny fins? You can imagine my anticipation. Imagine that, Imagination. She reminds me for whatever reason of a softball player—despite the obvious fact that she is more under water than above. In fact, far from dirt is she, though I know there’s a scoop somewhere to pick up her shit. Tight and compact, November tends to be a little rough around the edges. Her eyes have developed a distinguished set of crow’s feet—the words … you were supposed to be here at 9:00. Yeah, I’m late. Surprise surprise. Ad the mannerisms. The way she grabs hold o fthe side of the pool with whie knuckles but oh lord, the mighty dazzling ring on her finger the cut.. the rectangle cut with decorated by a peremeter of diamons dould those rocks all be real? HUGE giant colossal mammoth Blong. Reflection of the light above us, through the adjustable rotating moving sliding canoby aove us, se the kind of person who doesn’t show any theeth. I don’t think she smiled once. Not evem a hint of a smile—no conrers slightly moving upwards . Thisis the perfectionists showing thgouuh I think. Just don’t think about the odds of success you You don’t think about it when your’e in the studio wondering / working with Enrique.  Youre just doing it. And doing it well because you absolutely love it even when it gets difficult. When he says over and over and over open up , not quite. Give a true ‘oh’  Now was that a true ‘oh”? Ar you distoring the vowel? Look in the mirrowr and watch your jaw moving  DRAG QUEEN mouth he says. Saty away from the drag queen mouth, as I like to call it. But in the end its good work today, Matt. The entire hour is rewarding if not for anything else (thogh there are lots of something eles’s) for that moment of encouragement. That after the screaming and yelling and trilling and barking., that someone else recognizes my work—how how great it is, not how incredible it sounds, or how perhaps in the Met awaits  ( though it would be fabulously exciting and terrifying simultaneously that I have worked and dedicated myself for that hour to the best that I can. And focused are the task at hand. Good work today. There’s no you need to work harder you need to file thinaway . Just good work . the world words of encouragement are so desperately needed when feeling so incredibly insecure.  Confidence comes with experience of success and time again  are comes from the feedback of others too. The reinforcement of the mirror image. I project what I want you to see and what is frelected back to me from friends framily and loved ones idols , strangers and aquantances, that is relection the self of the projected image. I foret what thisis called in psychcology but I know there’s a name/term for it.  Kirsten we will call her is writing a book. Her hair is Rapunzel blonde and she works like a skinny bitch . But of course, she doesn’t come across that way. She is friendly—smiles with sincere eye sparkle and teeth. --- a perfect ratio of white and tooth show perspective. So we talk and talk in the coffee shop –sippipng the sea and iced mochas . I wonder, could those spider feet lashes be for real? And the things she’s sayint that I’m not allowed to talk ab out. – she seems so genuinely eager to spend the extra time to not cause increase the revenues of her practice (cutting costs does this too) but changing the way a very flawed system works firght now in the specifically California. We oth agree that legalized criminality “ is a fair way to describe the ways in which CEO’s of private health insurance conglomerates are paying the verry least in claims for the sick (and preventing any remotely unnessary claim) and capitalizing on the healthy. She describes the ways in which GMD a myriad of companies immediately cause her phone to light up in schizophrenic urgency after she has concluded an application for e-insurance. As it turns out, e-insurance is little more than a middleman alert system that says, “here! We’ve got a healthy one! Who can get to her first.” Following a bombardment of telephone calls from representitives of Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, Kaiser and all the rest, she is sure that there is little more to e-insurance than a hired hit man. The victim? The healthy guy who has the pocketbook to pay for insurance. Privatelly or otherwise.  A mother of three ,Kristen or Dr. ‘Scrip, looks more like a sorority gal in her figure than the typical mousey type bookworm you expect nowadays in the office of neurologists and botanists. She’s wearing figure flattering denim and a paisley silk top that hangs off her boney shoulders and reveals a pair of perfectly voluptuous hooters.  Ssomewhere there is a raccoon running around without its tail.  When  a sixty five dollar raccoon fur Becca brush goes on sale, there are several choices. To buy or not to buy, that is the question. Of course, one must buy a raccoon fur brush if one does not already own a raccoon fur brush. Is there a rub? Nay, there is no rub. Except that there is. Aforementioned raccoon is some forest is looking at his exposed anus and wondering where the cover for it went. This stinky vile thing used to have a sleek and baby bum (excuse the pun) soft thicket cover. Where’s it go? I’m sorry for that raccoon. I really am. However, the brush is too wonderful, too soft, too thick and luxurious to spend too much time pontificating the ramifications of such cruelty. (this is only said tonguq and cheek) . I don’t know if anyone could be so callous, even Callas (who wore fur regularly in and out of the opera house). I’ve only looked back several times  on this little luxury. Speaking of, Pierre Berge and Yves Saint Laurent (how beautiful a name to type) finally reminds me of the resemblance. It is none other than the coiffed dandy, Mr. Austin Scarlett of Project Runway season One ( I believe) . I’ll have to look up the pictures to see the resemblance. But I assure you speaker of the hosue that there is more to the spyglass than the ant beneath it who burns in the summer sun beam, a ribbon of ghost smoke rising from his mass of leg, thorax and the ever twitching antennae cells. Not to be mistaken for cellular antennae.